Welcome to the Neighborhood

I read another article today by an individual who is afraid of having returning combat veterans in their neighborhood. They have a fear that the individual will snap and wreak havoc upon their neighbors. I am sorry that we individuals who served and sacrificed so much, are a nightmare that keeps these individuals awake at night.  Instead of cowering and clutching your children to your breast when we pass, just say “Thank You.” You wouldn’t have that giant SUV and over priced home if that man our woman had not stood the line while you sat at home watching Oprah.

Instead of worrying about what could happen, think about how that soldier could be a benefit to your community. Neighborhood watch goes to a new level with vets around. You know that your children are safe playing in the neighborhood when they are on watch. Children are more important to soldiers than you might think. Even in combat zones, we give them candy and presents. Many soldiers have died trying to save the life of a child, even of our enemies. The health and welfare of a child is more important than our own. Additionally, we are ever vigilant for danger. It is ingrained in us from having to survive. Any strange people, or vehicle, will quickly send up red flags. Remember, we are able to run up mountains with an extra 80 pounds of gear on. That weirdo on the playground has no chance.

Occasionally, communities have problems with peeping toms, flashers, and other such wierdos. It is hard for the police to always catch these pervs. Have your husband’s go over and buy the monster a few cold beers. They can explain the problem and ask his help. I’ll bet they have a wife, daughters, or even a mother. I am sure they will love the excitement of the idea. We’ll never turn down an opportunity to cammo up and hide in the darkness. It gets even better because there is a chance of jumping from concealment and scaring some dirt bag to death. I’ll apologize early for any traps your husband may trip while walking the dog at night. Those flare trip wires will give you a headache. Just make sure your spouses don’t ask to help. You don’t want to have to deal with a 5 A.M. boot camp going on through your streets. They can’t go to combat without training after all.

Veterans are also great for getting rid of pests as well. No, I’m not talking about you daughter’s boyfriend. There are too many laws about that. My neighbors have used me several times when a rabid groundhog, opossum, or raccoon have made an unwanted appearance. Most combat soldiers have no quam about putting down a sick animal. It is far better than the suffering it has to go through. Don’t think we missed the shot if you hear 2 shots. It’s just the training. You have to make sure it is dead and dead again. For a cold beer or bratwurst, we’ll even dispose of the carcass for you. We know some of you suburbanites are a little squeamish about that.

If you live in the country, we can even be more help. Sometimes we may go a little overboard. Don’t ask us to put up a fence without specifications. You might end up with triple strand concertina wire, a four foot tall berm, or both with a tank ditch added in for good measure. When asking us to remove a stump, make sure you specify no explosives. Without that specification, you might have a crater that you can park your truck in.

Let’s not forget those combat medics and surgeons. They are a plus to have in the neighborhood. They can treat everything from a headache to a sucking chest wound. You may say you don’t need that much experience. I beg to differ. Remember when Mr. Jones came home with lipstick on his collar at 1 A.M. Yep the medic would have when he ran out of the house screaming with that meat thermometer sticking out of his backside. Just don’t be surprised if the have you clear out a landing zone and call in for a medevac.

Veterans are not the monsters I the closet. We do have problems and issues. So does the beauty pageant mom and the workaholic dad. Don’t shoot fireworks at our homes or yell “Incoming.” We will be fine. Treat us as your neighbors and friends. All we every want is to come home and live our lives enjoying our families and working hard. Give us a smile and wave. That goes a long way.